Now, you've healed from the break up. That is amazing. You forgot the name of your ex, which is even better.
Its time to get back into dating. Go back in time and get ready for a new adventure. Now, when I say go back in time, I do not mean going back to prehistoric ages, where when a cavemen wanted a women, there was no dating etiquette existing at that time. He just pulled her hair and bring her to the cave and do what cavemen did, minus the Geico commercial (it is so easy, even a cavemen can do it)
Now, what are the dating etiquette of the 21st century? Once you are on a date, there are some things you need to know or be reminded about prior to jumping into your prehistoric behavior. Obviously, after the pain of the break-up, you aren't looking for anything permanent, even less trying to get married.
However, regardless of your pain, the other person on a date might not see that date as just casual. Just be sensitive and not too vocal about what your true intentions are. Also, you are not looking for a rebound relationship either. Now, you might wonder, what should I do to make this evening fun without having to think about how I need to behave:
* Do not, and I say again, DO NOT talk about your ex. No way in hell should you even include the name of your ex, but also remember, you might of forgotten the name as well, so that might not be an issue.
* Focus on that person and truly try to get to know him or her. Look at your date in their eyes, do not ogle every new person coming in or out of the location you have your date. FOCUS on them ONLY. That might get you some action in the near future, and in some cases, THAT SAME NIGHT.
* Be honest with your date: IF you feel there wasn't any connection, do not string them along. If there wasn't any attraction, just be frank. Don't say you will call and you won't. It is not fair to them. Might as well cut the connection right there right then. Hey, there are plenty of other fishes in the sea, for both you and her/him.
* Let loose, have fun. If you come across someone that knows both you and your ex, WHO F$%^in cares. Do not worry about what that person will think about you on a date. Most chances is that your ex has already done the deed and probably already seeing someone else seriously.
* Put your best act: Do not think about your ex. Go on a date and make the best impression, even though you might not feel she is right for you, but also,
make it a habit to always dress nice, sexy, so you probably can attract others while on date, without even trying.
* Keep an open mind. Yes, it is important. Maybe that other person also made a good impression, who knows. Maybe that person have an interesting story that might be similar to yours, sharing the same interest, the same passion, hobbies, etc.. Take time to learn about that person and you might be surprised of the result.
* Don't get depressed about not making a connection immediately with someone else. It might take you several dates before you can meet someone who matches your criteria. It takes time, patience, determination, and work to find that match. Just look at your past relationship. You probably were with that person for a couple of years to realize, Ooops, nope, ain't for me. So after two years of wasting your time with the SAME person, you arrived to that conclusion. So go on dates, take your time, have fun and see what the future holds.
Now, we talked about your dating adventures, how about if you are still glued to your ex, and he or she is dating. You might put up the act of being over the ex, and you show it by planning Saturday night dates with set-ups from friends and families.
Now, let say you find out your ex is doing the exact same thing. Let say your break up is temporary, just to take some time off of each other. Let say you are looking to take a break but eventually get back together. All this is great but wait, she is going on a date and you are too. You might be worried that the date she is going in might be someone she is very interested in. You may have that urge to contact your ex and break that promise of no contact during the break.
What can happen?
Trying to call up your ex and ask them about their night with the date might show them a sign of desperation. Instead of drawing them closer to you, you are pushing them far far away to another galaxy.
Now, why don't you look at this new dating like a positive and healthy approach to your break up?:
- First, if you are so uncomfortable dating someone new, imagine how your ex is feeling. He or she are going through the same emotions, wondering how to behave, how to conduct yourself in company of a new person, etc...
- That new person do not share what you shared with your ex, which is a good point for you. There is not much to talk about with that new person.
-Statistics clearly mention that any new relationship based in rebound, or affairs never last. 90% of the time, when a couple breaks up, the rebound relationship have a few chance of surviving. The same goes for affairs. If you have an affair with someone, or your spouse has an affair, when you both breakup/divorce, that affair might become a relationship for a very short while, but has ONLY a few chance of survival. The reason is because the lover/mistress is with your spouse because of the mystery, the secretive rendez-vous, but once your spouse is divorced, then that mistress/lovers become a full blown relationship, and that lover/mistress do not want ANY of that. Eventually, the passion dies and the spouse is left with legal bills to finalize the divorce. At the end, no one wins, especially if kids are involved.
Finally, the further away from the break up you get, the more your ex will become nostalgic about your relationship. She/he will start remembering the good things in the relationship, instead of pin pointing ONLY the bad things when both of you were together. This, in return will diminish the value of any other potential mate out there, because, as I mentioned on my previous articles, the GRASS IS NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE. Remember that one ladies and gents.
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